So the possibly-hallucinated vampires whisks away Julie, apparently not noticing that she's foaming at the mouth. They head right up to the ruined tower that they didn't explore... and apparently for a ruined tower, it's in pretty good repair. When I think of a ruined tower, I think of holes in the walls, stairs that will collapse if you walk on ( Read more... )

So now... Julie and the guy just,... stare at each other. Wow, this really is like Twilight.

Click to view

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So we're given a sum-up of how her boring life went back to being boring again, only with the Cullens.

Since the Cullens are Perfect Gold-Crapping Vampires, the hospital is fine with Carlisle retaking his old job. They just fired the poor schmuck who had gotten his job, because he'd never be as wonderful as Carlisle.


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AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox!

That shocks me. Deeply.

dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE!

I must have been in the bathroom during the scenes where Dumbledore starts screaming four-letter words at his students. Sigh, those movie adaptations, always getting stuff wrong,
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To reinforce that Michael is an evil shallow douchebag, he's got a big fancy white house with a pretty skylight, a gorgeous lawn, greenhouse flowers planted in his gardens, and fancily-dressed buddies walking around the grounds. For someone so rabidly anti-communistic, Goodkind certainly seems to equate wealth with being a nasty selfish little ( Read more... )

When we last saw our alleged hero, who is also insane, emotionally dead and devoid of any survival instincts, he had noticed a dress. The dress is on a woman, because she's wearing it. The dress and its occupant are being followed by a bunch of cut-rate ninjas dressed like Robin Hood.

Also, there's a dress.


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We're introduced to a vine. Apparently it's killing a tree, it smells funky, and it has dusky variegated leaves. I'm going to make a wild guess and say this is an EVILLY EVIL vine: Pods stuck out from the vine here and there along its length, almost seeming to look warily about for witnesses.… last time I checked, pods are not the same thing as ( Read more... )

So we begin with our douchebag hero Alex noticing a ginormous truck that is going out of control, which is loaded down with SYMBOLISM.


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This is it, my friends! The end of Twishite Twitlight Twilite Twilight! This is the last chapter! THE LAST CHAPTER HALLELUJAH! THE END! FINITO!


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So like the last few chapters which had Paolini openers and closers, this chapter opens with Bella waking up. Shock. And since she's Bella, she immediately finds stuff to bitch about: The wall beside me was covered in long vertical blinds; over my head, the glaring lights blinded me. I was propped up on a hard, uneven bed - a bed with rails. The ( Read more... )